Every now and again we all identity crisis when we start questioning ourselves, our confidence & decisions, thinking we’re not enough, letting the doubt creep in and comparing ourselves to others. It is after all only human to experience difficulties when becoming the person we are meant to be, and removing all the ‘masks’ we cover ourselves with. Recently when I was listening to an interview of Kerry Washington from the popular TV show ‘Scandal’ who’s character portrays a confident woman, Washington said she doubts many times her confidence, thinking she needs to be ‘fixed’. After hearing that, thinking about it and processing it, I’ve recognised in myself my own personal battles.
We’re all at some point in time affected by mainstream media instructing us of the things we “must” change in order to get what we want. Social media can also be very dangerous as it can cause people to distance themselves from their true self and their own truth because of the perception of social media tells you, you should live.
In your life, you will come across people who aren’t truthful, and because of this, their deceitfulness can cause you to doubt yourself. In fact, a lot of things, from the media to society can negatively affect our confidence and cause us to distance ourselves from our true potential.
A lot of the time when I’m researching for an upcoming interview, I hear people ask other what their “secret” is to success or happiness etc.
All people wonder what the “secret” is. I’ve found that the secret is to discover your own method, formula, identity, inner flow, and life energy and just follow it. To be your authentic self! To do whatever makes you feel good. If someone or something doesn’t make you feel good, cut it loose because life is too short. I know it’s cliché but it hasn’t been said a million times because it’s wrong, it’s been repeated so much because it’s true!
The secret is to live your own truth and to find your own rules, and to search so deep until you find it!
I’ve always felt that I was paying the price for being my self, and this is what has cost my relationships and even sometimes my job. Because of this I’ve occasionally experienced the thought that I need to be “fixed”. Through my relationships, my honesty and independency was intimidating and/or too ‘real’ for people, and it was the same in my job. I was rejected many times for putting my values first, or for my accent or where I come from, for being too ‘eastern-european’ etc. All of these experiences made me doubt myself more & more, wanting to be someone else or something different. I used to hear voices in my head screaming “what do I need to change!?” Until I isolated myself from the noise and realised that the only freedom that I need is the freedom to be who I am, and that being who I am will take me in the direction that I truly need to go. For me, the truth boils down to this. If you isolate these thoughts and liberate yourself to be who you will find freedom sooner, and if not, you might spend your whole life being someone who you’re not.
One of my inspirations is Oprah. I listen to hear speak constantly. She is a master of her profession and an inspiration to a lot of people! If you’ve listened to hear speak then you’ll know what I mean. However have you ever wondered why she has such an inspiration over people? Because she is authentic. Oprah was not trying to be the new Barbara Walters or the new ‘whoever’, she was being herself and only herself, like no one before her could be and no one after her can be. In the early days of her career she thought she had weight problem and skin problem because everyone was telling her she was. But the words she heard on a casting in Chicago changed her life and liberated her. “We want you to be yourself!”
The path you have to go in life is your path! Don’t follow others. Now don’t misunderstand me here, I think it is important to be inspired by others and draw similarities and new ideas, but you must find your own way to run, your own way to success. There are different roads for everyone, that’s why we’re all born different and we have different personalities. Each of us has our own story, you just need to have the courage to write it.
These are my 6 techniques on how to set yourself free and be you!
Pay attention to what’s going on around you. All the situations and people you meet in life are there to teach you lessons, even if it’s difficult or upsetting, pay attention!
Pay attention to what you hear and what you see and be present in every moment. Understand what the universe is trying to teach you and create your own reality.
“You cannot find your soul with your mind, you must use your heart.” – Gary Zukav
Don’t try to be what other people want you to be, because it takes a lot of energy to be the person you’re not. Be yourself and live your own truth. You will never be rewarded by being someone else.
Don’t justifications for who you are, what you do or what you say. Open your heart and let your words be authentic and your actions genuine. Remove the “make up” that was given to us by the pressure of other people’s expectations.
“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” – Andrew Murphy
4.Listen to your inner voice.
I don’t believe in luck, I believe you create your own future. The best guide is your intuition, your own inner voice so don’t doubt it. Listen to your own voice and let it be louder that the noise around you. You will feel the vibrations when you find it. It will just feel right and you will know what you have to do.
“Authentic power is building something inside of you that you cannot lose and that no one can take from you.” – Gary Zukav
5.Let go of the fear.
Stop wasting time. Your time is limited. Make decisions that make you happy. Don’t try to impress anyone; the only person you should try to impress is yourself.
“Your largest fear carries your greatest growth.” – Unknown
A huge freedom lies in expressing yourself. Have the courage to say what you want. Your ability to express yourself confidently wins you the respect from others.
It can be very difficult to listen to your inner voice, especially if you put more effort into listening and valuing what other people say. Don’t look for someone who is successful and try to replicate it, you never know what kind of battle he/she has had, but by all means learn from it!
Never forget “If you are trying to be someone else, you’ll miss a person that you are“. I hope you will find joy and freedom in being who you are.